“American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.”
— Dave Barry

Some may once again find my title curious but I will do my best to justify it.  First, if you know anything about the Taiwanese (including other Asian cultures) you know they’ll often eat or are willing to try eating nearly any plant, fish, animal or insect.  I consider myself pretty open-minded in regards to cuisine and became much more so after meeting and eventually marrying a Taiwanese girl.

When we began dating I was a tad reluctant to try “C” rated restaurants in her Rowland Heights neighborhood (a.k.a. “Littler Taiwan”) and foods that I deemed “bizarre”.  Sooner than later I realized there may be some truth to the frequently discussed Taiwanese theory that involves skepticism in regards to “A” rated (LA County Department of Health) restaurants in Los Angeles.

Many Taiwanese believe the food won’t taste as good as it does at lower rated restaurants.  It took a few months, but I made the decision to go where Bella said the “tasty” food was, regardless of their cleanliness rating.  And I’ve eaten mouth-watering food ever since.  Ironically, the only restaurants that gave me stomach problems in this neighborhood were at “A-rated” Asian vegetarian restaurants (they replicate “meat” in their concoctions).

I am very enthusiastic about this trip as we won’t have a wedding reception and photo sessions slowing us down.  Hopefully this trip will feel a little less rushed.

DAY 1 – LAX AIRPORT – LOS ANGELES, CA — MORNING

We grab a Baja Fresh breakfast burrito and a Starpuke’s coffee before we head to our gate.

DAY 1 – NARITA INTL AIRPORT – NARITA, JAPAN – AFTERNOON

One step into a cosmetics store and we are immediately reminded of the annoying hovering by Japanese salespeople.  Prior to entering you are greeted with what sounds like “SOM-A-SAY”.  Then they ask you if you need assistance prior to you having a chance to look at anything.

Once you dismiss them they ignore your “release of their duties”, hovering around and tracking your movements throughout the store.  I’d love to dismiss this as “outstanding customer service” but the reality appears to be that they are heavily concerned with theft.  Given their “hawking” tactics I’m guessing their “shrinkage” in Japan is about 2% or less.

Unfortunately, the end result is that honest customers end up 98% uncomfortable, feeling as if they are being viewed as criminals and end up cutting their shopping experiences short.  Chalk it up to a cultural difference between America and Japan.  At least they seem to be “equal opportunity hoverers” from what I’ve observed.  I know most United States retailers take preventatives measures (i.e. greeters, sensor tags, cameras) but since you can’t buy insurance against retail theft; “it is what it is”.

DAY 2 – TAOYUAN INTL AIRPORT – TAOYUAN, TAIWAN – NIGHT

We arrive around midnight and are picked up by Bella’s father and sister, Cindy.  I am immediately greeted with the darkness of the countryside as we drive out of the airport.

DAY 2 – NISSAN LIVINA CUV — HIGHWAY – NIGHT

Cindy has a Nissan crossover utility vehicle (CUV).  Suddenly I absorb a sensation that is causing my body to lunge forward, ever so slightly.  In a nutshell, it feels like Cindy is tapping the brakes every three to four seconds causing the car to slow up, in an ill-fated attempt to visit a Midas Brake Center by tomorrow morning.

I mention it to Bella and she indicates that the highways are designed with perpendicular strips of metal that cause a reduction in your car’s speed.  In a well lit portion of the freeway I notice that this approximately one foot piece of metal resembles a pilaster strip (metal strip with routed grooves used to support shelves on homemade bookcase).  What an annoying albeit effective method for creating safer highways.

DAY 2 – TSENG MOUNTAIN HOUSE — HSIN DIEN CITY — NIGHT

The exterior of the house is typical Taiwanese with white tiles.  The interior consists of room to room built-in maple cabinetry and dark faux mahogany wood floors.  It is a 1600 square foot, three-bedroom with loft, three-level townhouse.  I am immediately grateful to Bella’s parents as I notice last year’s bed (see “wannabe concrete” Fred Flintstone bed) made out of crushed coconut shells has been retired to the loft.  Thank you Mama and Papa Tseng; my spina bifida, scoliosis and sciatica conditions thank you in advance.

DAY 3 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – HIGHWAY — MORNING

Bella, Mama, Papa and I are on our way to Sun Moon Lake.  The roadsides have rectangular-shaped “sun dial” looking devices on top of freeway signs.  Papa educates me that these solar powered devices collect the sun’s rays so that signs will illuminate at night without using electric power.  Off the coast I spot many gigantic windmills with airplane type propellers.  Papa advises us that these are another “green” effort by the Taiwanese to generate electric power.

DAY 3 – CINGSHUI SERVICE AREA – HIGHWAY – DAY

I believe you could scour the entire United States and wouldn’t find any rest area comparable to the Cingshui Service Area (P: 04-26201378.  F: 04-26202429).  Inside this large structure is a food hall (i.e. food court) with other shops or stands selling gifts, souvenirs and snack foods.  I eat a bento box lunch consisting of a Japanese hamburger with sides.  Afterwards, we pick up some of our favorite brand of taro mochi cakes (Shan Mai Food Co. Ltd., T: 04-2682-2188, W: smai.com.tw).

DAY 3 – COUNTRYSIDE ROADS – SMALL TOWNS — DAY

There are betel nut gum glass booths illuminated with bright pink or green neon lights about every half mile.  Inside each is a pretty girl wearing sexy clothing or lingerie.  Protocol dictates that motorists pull up to the booth a girl will exit and sell them betel nut gum.  This appealing endeavor only comes with one con – you depart with blood-red stained teeth.  Regrettably, you won’t be able to cover that up from the wife/girlfriend.  Sorry boys.

DAY 3 – SUN MOON LAKE TEACHER’S HOSTEL – SML — DAY

We check-in at Sun Moon Lake Teacher’s Hostel (A: No. 136 Jhongsing Road, Yuchih Township, Nantou County 555.  P: 049-2855991).  It is located just off the lake with great views from our seventh floor room.

SML Hostel: View

DAY 3 – HANBI TRAIL – SUN MOON LAKE – AFTERNOON

Mama and I are lagging behind when I notice a giant spider hanging on a web directly above us.  The spider’s body is the size of my thumb with legs as long as my fingers.  The coloring is neon orange and black.  Disgusting!

DAY 3 – 7-11 CONVENIENCE STORE – STREETS – SML — AFTN

Bella picks up a cold tea drink and I get my favorite cold coffee drink (Café Au Lait).  Yummy!  Good coffee, just the right amount of cream and not too much sugar.  They rarely get this right in the States whereas in Taiwan they almost always get it right because the Taiwanese typically don’t share our “sweet tooth”.

DAY 3 – STREETS — SUN MOON LAKE – AFTERNOON

We walk past various restaurants and shops.  Bella and papa do some serious analyzing and deliberating before papa selects our restaurant.

DAY 3 – GU-YUE RESTAURANT – SUN MOON LAKE — EVENING

Gu-yue Restaurant (P: 049-2856508) has a limited menu by American standards and much more so by Asian standards.  It took Bella and her parents nearly fifteen minutes to compile enough dishes to feed our party.  And nobody seemed particular enthused about the choices.  Truth be told, the Taiwanese are not “eat to live” people, so if the food isn’t good or is mediocre it will be made abundantly clear.

In this particular case I think it came down to country folk versus city folk.  Dishes in the country are more limited to local specialties versus the diverse choices available to city dwellers.  My stance is that the food is plenty edible but nothing to write home about.  Ironically the restaurant was empty when we arrived (viewed as a negative by most Asians) and has flourished into a packed house by our departure.

DAY 3 – STREETS – SUN MOON LAKE — EVENING

As we walk through town I notice that our restaurant was much busier than the others.  It is customary in Taiwan that once you’ve been seated you’re “invested” in that restaurant.  It would be deemed bad manners to walk out after reviewing the menu.

DAY 3 — SUN MOON LAKE TEACHER’S HOSTEL – NIGHT

We relax in our room which is quite nice for a hostel.  At bedside you have remote control access to music, lights, TV, the “do not disturb” light and the “maid light”.  I enjoy my shower (with elevated shower head) in a shower large enough for three.

DAY 4 – SML TEACHER’S HOSTEL – DINING ROOM – MORNING

Before breakfast papa, Bella and I take some photos of the lake from the rooftop lounge.  We have a Taiwanese breakfast buffet with a Nescafe automated coffee machine thrown into the mix.  This coffee tastes worse than the instant crystal coffee that was semi-popular in the early 80s’.  After breakfast we check out of the hotel and head out to tour the lake trails.

DAY 4 – DAJHUHU TRAIL – SUN MOON LAKE — MORNING

The sun is peaking out and Davy is getting a tad sweaty.  Given that it is noticeably better than springtime, there will be no tears shed today.  This marshland has a variety of birds at various times of the year.  Unfortunately, this is not one of those times.  Also unfortunate were the numerous “hairy beast” spiders residing in webs — directly above the walking trail.  Filthy!

DAY 4 – PEACOCK GARDEN – SUN MOON LAKE – MORNING

Peacocks are roaming about.  Other bird species of Taiwan are located in pens around the corner.

DAY 4 – SUN MOON LAKE – WEN WU TEMPLE – MORNING

I found, Wen Wu Temple (T: 49-2855122.  W: wenwu.org.tw) online and joked with Bella that this odd looking wildebeest looked like a giant bull hugging a large ball.  I suppose I’d seen this popular character before but I guess I didn’t examine this dramatic version very carefully.  Bella corrects me and reveals that my “bull” is in fact a lion.  Ironic that my astrological sign is that of a Leo.

This famous temple was built in 1938 and renovated in 1966 in the Northern Dynasties style with a color focus on gold.  We have a nice view of the lake from up here.  Papa purchases a lantern shaped charm on our behalf that signifies “family”; we sign it and hang it along a rail just outside the temple.  See the photo.

Mama, Bella and I check out the adjacent Nianti Trail.  These 366 steps leading downward represent the days of the year.  Each step is engraved with the date and a name of a famous person born on that day.  See the photo of Tiger Wood’s step.

DAY 4 – SYUANZANG & SYUANGUANG TEMPLES – SML — MORNING

We take some photos of bell and drum gongs and walk around the grounds.

DAY 4 – ROADSIDE VENDORS – SML — MORNING

We look at various items throughout the store.  Dad purchases a tea egg (hard-boiled and soaked in tea and soy sauce for 8 hours or more) for Bella.

DAY 4 – CIHEN PAGODA – SUN MOON LAKE — DAY

We climb the paved paths leading to the pagoda.  Late Taiwanese president Chiang Kai-shek had it built in memory of his mother.  It has nine stories and its top reaches 1,000 meters above sea level.

Unfortunately, it is closed due to recent earthquake activity or we would be able to get remarkable panoramic views of the area.  Triple delicious!  Three behemoth spiders are congregating alongside one another.

DAY 4 – COUNTRY ROADS — TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – DAY

As we climb the two-lane mountain road Bella spots a local chicken restaurant on the side of the road.  Bella has built-in “foo-dar” so I am excited to see what this roadside restaurant may bring.

DAY 4 – POT CHICKEN RESTAURANT – MTN ROAD – DAY

Pot Chicken Restaurant (T: 049-2754271) screams ANTHONY BOURDAIN, chef and food writer for the travel channel.  There are clay ovens that look like oil barrels, open-air seating and stacks of wood.  The structure includes a long rectangular-shaped floor-plan with nice views down into the ravine.  Tables and chairs are plastic with plastic table cloths.  This is going to be great!

We devour plump fried pumpkin cakes (shredded pumpkin strands inside and blended into the outside), a whole clay-oven roasted chicken (yes, “the head is smiling at me”), a green veggie dish and a light-flavored soup.  I am BEYOND full.  Afterwards, we roll ourselves into the car and traverse further up the mountain.

“He’s Smiling at Me”…

DAY 4 – LEADER HOTEL SITOU – PARKING LOT — SITOU — DAY

Mama checks us into the lodge of the Leader Hotel Sitou (A: No. 10 Forest Alley, Lugu Town, Nantou County.  P: 049-2612588.  W: http://leader-chitou.hotel.com.tw/eng/).A massive number of tour buses and cars filter into the parking lot.  Tour buses are everywhere in Taiwan.  They are filled with foreigners, Taiwanese on vacation and residents of other Asian countries.  People wander about going off in all directions.

DAY 4 – LEADER HOTEL SITOU – ROOM – SITOU — DAY

The lobby is rustic with a reading room directly across from our rooms.  Our room is a contradictory blend of rustic and modern.  There is an eastern king bed, a single bed, TV, mini-fridge and desk.  The bathroom includes a granite sink, an all glass shower with decorative tile work and a high-end American-style toilet.

DAY 4 – SITOU FOREST – SITOU — AFTERNOON

We venture across a traditional bamboo bridge that guides us into this enchanted forest.  This takes me back to my days visiting the UC Santa Cruz campus.  Of course this is significantly prettier with heavy fog, mist and more diverse plant growth.  Around the corner chocolate brown “Pallas” squirrels are scurrying up and down the trees as people drop crumbs of food.

Ahead we encounter various groupings of fifteen year-olds on a middle school (grades are split up differently in Taiwan) graduation trip.  Unfortunately, this would prove to be a hindrance to my complete enjoyment of the forest.  Often they hogged the path, were always loud and every fifth kid felt the need to address me in English.  This would ensue off and on throughout our two plus hour adventure which inhibited my mental escape into this almost mystical place.

The pluses include the chocolate brown squirrels, the Taiwan University botanical area, the multiple sightings of gray-cheeked fulvetta birds, and the “walk above the trees” (metal walkway built 100 feet above the ground).  It is a remarkable experience to be able to walk along this metal walkway in the sky through the fog and mist and peer down to the grounds below.  There is a slight wobble felt when walking although you can see it is newer construction so that makes it less daunting.

“Walk Above the Trees”

DAY 4 – LEADER RESTAURANT – SITOU — NIGHT

A host seats us and we are immediately served a series of dishes of meats, fish, vegetables and soup.  The food is quite good and there is plenty to go around.

DAY 5 – SITOU FOREST – SITOU — MORNING

It is 6am and we are trekking through gardens, bird trails and peering into greenhouses.  While on the Bird Watch Trail I get a brief look at a bird with bright orange and blue colors.  It looks like a common kingfisher but since this isn’t its natural habitat it may be a fairy pitta.

DAY 5 – LEADER RESTAURANT – SITOU — MORNING

At our Taiwanese breakfast buffet I enjoy my best cup of coffee yet in Taiwan.  It comes from a coffee house grade machine.  I select Café Americano (shocker) and enjoy two cups during the meal.  We check out of the hotel.

DAY 5 – SUN LINK SEA FOREST – UPPER MTN AREA – MORNING

We exit the car at Sun Link Sea (T: 49-2611-211-3.  W: goto307.com.tw).The temperature has plummeted noticeably as we are at approximately 5249 feet elevation.  The name “sun link sea” stems from a view “near the sun” and that looks like “the sea” due to the cloud formations between the mountains.

The growth on this trail is less lush, much drier and therefore less interesting than Sitou Forest.  In fact, this reminds me more of Angeles National Forest in San Bernardino.  And as I’ve said before, since I live in a desert, I prefer “green, green and more — green”.  Regardless, papa points out different interesting plants throughout the area.  We see our first ducks (mallards) and a mutated duck swimming in a creek bed.

Further up the road we walk to a medicinal greenhouse which has “chili pepper” plants and other interesting looking plants and flowers.  We eat medicinal herb soup and rice tamales at a cafe.

DAY 5 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – MTN ROAD – SITOU — DAY

We stop alongside the road and take striking photos of what locals call “Sea Lake Sky”.  Clouds gather up and give the appearance of a large lake.  Unfortunately, the drive down the mountain left little to be desired.  I think the closed windows and windy roads led to my becoming nauseous.  I roll down the window and get some fresh air which improves my disposition.

DAY 5 – CINGSHUI SERVICE AREA – HIGHWAY – AFTN

Papa backs into a parking space.  It seems that approximately 85% of Taiwanese back into parking spots.  Often it is required by law since rows have little room in between and it helps ease exiting a spot as well.  Unfortunately, backing into a spot is an extremely slow process and cars passing by rarely seem interested in waiting while you “snail’s pace” it into your spot.

DAY 5 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – HIGHWAY – AFTN

We hit some heavy rain on the drive back.  Unlike the United States, the majority of drivers don’t drive more cautiously in the rain, other than less frequent lane changes.  On a side note, I love the sirens on their police and emergency vehicles.  If you’ve ever watched a film that was shot in Asia or Europe you know the sound, it is unmistakable.

I find it mildly humorous watching the super slim cars and trucks built for narrow city streets and the arduous parking situation in Taipei City.  These vehicles make the Toyota Echo of the early 2000s’ look portly.

I noticed that Cindy, mama and papa only utilize the rearview mirror, never turning to look over their shoulders when changing lanes.  Initially I find this unusual given all the unorthodox criss-crossing roads, overwhelming number of scooters (quicker than most cars) and erratic driving by essentially — everyone.

However, I quickly consider the style of driving in Taipei City.  Drivers behave like small boats in a congested harbor with no substantial room to make drastic moves of any sort.  Most drivers tend to “bob and weave” avoiding the bumper in front of them and making lane changes in a gentle yet determined fashion.  Given that you are typically “licking the bumper” of the car in front of you, it would undoubtedly be “hazardous to your health” to take a mere glance over your shoulder.  In addition, scooters are constantly darting in front of your car from all different directions.

I convey my theory to Bella and her family and they confirm that it is a sound theory indeed.  In summary, it is much easier for someone behind you (who isn’t traveling fast to begin with) to slow down or shift lanes if you get in their way versus you taking the chance of rear-ending a driver in front of you thereby being involved in an “at-fault” accident.

DAY 5 – THAI RESTAURANT – DAAN DISTRICT – NIGHT

Back in town we park at Taiwan University.  We dine on a chicken appetizer, fried shrimp cake (served like pie slices), whole steamed fish and fried tofu.  The shrimp cake is simply amazing.  After dinner we drop dad near the city apartment.

DAY 5 – RT-MART GROCERY — HSIN DIEN CITY – NIGHT

Mama takes us to a large grocery store that sells everything under the sun including many different models of scooters, auto supplies, food and many household items.  She buys me some of my favorite pudding snacks for tomorrow’s breakfast at the mountain house.

DAY 6 – TSENG CITY APT – DAAN DISTRICT – MORN

Bella’s parents live in a splendid neighborhood with easy access to a mid-sized night market, many tea and coffee houses and cafes (including some that do their renditions of American café’s or French bistros).  See the photo of the shiny latchkey (think Sherlock Holmes) the family uses to open their front door (all chrome).

DAY 6 – JI-PIN HSUAN REST – ZHONGZHENG DIST — DAY

The interior of Ji-pin Hsuan (T: 02-23885880. E: msuchen@ms35.hinet.net) is fancy with dark woods and a modern design.  Bella and I have spicy green beans and pumpkin cubes for appetizers.  We eat “ninbo” style sautéed eel and pork buns.  This is some seriously delightful eating.

DAY 6 – YAMAZAKI BAKERY – ZHONGZHENG DIST – DAY

Yamazaki’s lavish bakery (T: 02-2560-5289 or 2560-5294. W: yamazaki-bc.com.tw) takes me back to the delicious fresh strawberry rolled cakes I ate in Tokyo.  I purchase a slightly different strawberry rolled cake, vanilla rolled cake and a miniature strawberry cake.

DAY 6 – OLYMPIA BAKERY – ZHONGZHENG DIST – DAY

We purchase two taro mochi cakes and a taro tapioca drink at Olympia Bakery & Cakes Co., LTD. (T: 02-2331-0729 or 2311-9359.  W: cake-shop.com.tw).  The cake is good and the drink is better.

DAY 6 – STREET VENDORS – ZHONGZHENG DIST – DAY

A vendor sells pastel colored ice/heat packs that turn hot or cold without the use of a microwave or freezer.  All you do is click the metal piece inside and it turns hot.  Bella and I purchase two since I am well known for being “fragile”.

DAY 6 – SNOW KING ICE CREAM PROVIDE CTR – XIMENDING – DAY

Bella takes me to Snow King Ice Cream Provide Center (A: 65, Wuchang Street Sec 1, Taipei City.  T: 02-2331-8415) a shop that serves “exotic” flavors of ice cream.  Some of their “interesting” flavors include: Taiwanese vodka; plum wine; beer; brandy; ginger; Korean ginseng; chili pepper; curry; wasabi; carrot; egg; oolong tea; green tea; jasmine tea; tofu; sesame oil chicken; pig’s feet; shredded pork; tomato; cane; sesame and basil.

I start with papaya which has that strong stink of fresh papaya (a.k.a. pa-poop-ea) and a great smooth and creamy taste.  They serve you one scoop at a time (for optimal appreciation) so once finished I opt for basil as my final selection.  There is a powerful aroma of Taiwanese basil in my mouth as I let it dissolve on the back of my tongue.  This is delectable and reminds me of Bella’s cooking (I earn 3-4 meals per year based on “good behavior” and her chaotic work schedule).  And I thought The Stinking Rose restaurant’s garlic ice cream (cloves of garlic included) was good.

DAY 6 – MISTER DONUT – XIMENDING – AFTERNOON

Today turns into dessert sampler day as Bella and I enter Mr. Donut (T: 0800-527-000. W: misterdonut.com.tw). This Japanese chain was franchised in Taiwan and features Asian-infused flavored donuts.  We share a green tea flavored donut (Pon de Double Matcha) with sweet pastry cream inside.  It tastes like a combination of a twist donut and a crème-filled donut.

DAY 6 – TAIPEI MILK KING – XIMENDING – AFTN

Bella and I window shop before stopping at Taipei Milk King (T: 2331-8191 or 2351-1497.  W: tmkchain.com.tw).  We share what may be the best papaya milk in Taipei City.  You can smell the fresh papaya stink permeating through the straw; an orange-red color visible through the cover.

DAY 6 – SUBWAY – TAIPEI CITY – AFTERNOON

Bella and I venture to the Shilin night market.

DAY 6 – STREETS – SHILIN DISTRICT — AFTERNOON

I can already smeeeeeeelllllllllllll it.  At night markets you can spend very little money and get well fed, buy a stylish watch or clothing and drink tasty freshly made beverages.

DAY 6 – OLD SHILIN NIGHT MKT – SHILIN DIST – EVENING

There is an arcade at what used to be the “old” Shilin night market.  I buy fried squid (served in a light broth) and an oyster pancake with sweet noodle sauce.  I love the oyster pancake but the fried squid’s texture is a tad chewy.

DAY 6 – SHILIN NIGHT MKT – SHILIN DIST – EVENING

Bella notices a foot massage spa as we approach the market.  Her feet have been killing her due to all the walking and my feet aren’t fairing much better.

DAY 6 – CHANG LUNG FOOT SPA – SHILIN DIST – EVENING

Green is the color scheme inside the Chang Lung Foot Spa (T: 8861-4017 or 8861-4027) with faux dark wood floors and a very clean look.  We pay for 45 minute foot massages.  The spa features new faux leather chairs, pull-out mini TV screens, free hot green tea and magazines.  The fee per person is $18.00 flat (tips aren’t part of Taiwanese culture).

My male masseuse works over my upper back and digs in on my hooves.  The foot pressure on the bottom of my feet is the type of pain that — “hurts so good.”  I watch a baseball game while drinking my tea.  Bella’s female masseuse looks to be applying some good pressure as well.  People walking by will gaze in as they pass by.  I couldn’t care less myself…my hooves are in heaven.

Afterwards, I head to the bathroom.  Scary!  The bathroom area is separated from the main room only by hanging plastic 70s’ disco beads.  When you walk in there is a urinal for men and a sink.  Behind a closed door is an American-style toilet.  As a result, ladies can pass behind you while you’re “conducting a transaction”.  Fortunately I am able to relieve myself, in peace.

DAY 6 – SHILIN NIGHT MKT – SHILIN DISTRICT – NIGHT

Vendors peddle jewelry, watches, clothes, pets, food and drink.  A “police sting” is taking place as peddlers without licenses pack their display cases and make a b-line for the exit.  I wondered about their legitimacy as they were clogging the aisles with their pop-up tables.

A vendor from last year sells us a boiled squid, scallion, and veggie dish.  It is quite good but I prefer the more flavorsome grilled squid on a stick.  Later we find the same vendor from last year that sold us grilled veggies and meats on a stick.

Many street vendors have been here for twenty plus years.  We pick pork, veggies and half a squid cut down the middle.  The squid is piping hot, tender, snappy (not chewy), and has a light coating of sweet Taiwanese barbecue glaze on it.  It is scrumptious.  Bella isn’t a big a fan of the grilled meats vendor as it requires waiting ten minutes for your food to be grilled.  Don’t forget…this is a fast-paced society.

A vendor shows us an authentic watch by Italian designer Ermenegildo Zegna.  It is a stainless steel watch with a slate blue face priced at $25.00.  The vendor takes a pair of sharp tweezers (I assume) and attempts to scratch the watch face.  There are no scratches.  She shows us the imposter Taiwanese version priced at $10.00.  Again, she attempts to scratch the authentic watch’s face.  It is stylish but not quite my style so I pass.

DAY 6 – IKARI COFFEE – SHILIN DISTRICT – NIGHT

We order iced coffee drinks and a piece of taro mousse cake at Ikari Coffee (T: 02-2888-3578.  W: ikari.com.tw).  We relax, chat and eat the taro mousse cake which goes well with the high quality smooth and creamy java.

DAY 6 – SUBWAY – SHILIN DISTRICT – NIGHT

Fortunately, it isn’t the “standing room only” we experienced earlier during rush hour.

DAY 6 – MISTER DONUT – DAAN DISTRICT – NIGHT

We have another green tea flavored donut (Pon de Double Matcha) and a similar almond flavored donut (Pon de Almond).  It is nearly as good as the green tea version.

DAY 6 – TSENG CITY APT – DAAN DIST – NIGHT

Cindy, Bella and I go around the corner to the Shida night market.

DAY 6 — SHIDA NIGHT MARKET – DAAN DISTRICT – NIGHT

I buy fried octopus balls before the girls stop at a food vendor.  Octopus balls are cooked in what looks like a mini-muffin pan.  My assessment is that in Taiwan (the concept originated in Japan) they’re likely overrated.  It tastes like half-cooked mushy mashed potato with a few strands of octopus inside.  My next sampling of these will be in Japan or nowhere at all.

The girls shop at a general store (99 Cent Store style, not “The Wild Wild West”) and several clothing stores.  Around the corner I pick up a papaya milk from Will be Addicted (T: 2363-3602).  They serve drinks (yakult, milk tea, coffee, tea, aloe, fresh milk and citron) some cold, some hot, some either.

A famous vendor, Lantern Stew is preparing a medley of foods of your choosing boiled together and tossed in a plastic bag.  This gent works very hard (most rise around 3am and work seven days per week) and very efficiently serving approximately 300 people per night, at an average of $6.00 per order (USD).  That amounts to roughly $1800 per night and if we factor in a generous $1000 towards expenses and 30 days per month it results in $24,000 pure profit per month.  Office professionals or educators earn less than one-tenth of this.  Did I mention that the Taiwanese are a “food culture”?

Shida Mkt: Lantern Stew

DAY 7 – TSENG CITY APT – DAAN DIST – MORNING

We wake up from a not-so-quiet night spent in the city.  Apparently the Tseng’s are located a little closer to a busy street than I thought.  However, I am quickly realizing that residing in the mountains is a hindrance to enjoying city life.  It takes twenty minutes to get to the bottom of the mountain and another twenty-five minutes to get to the city apartment.  Oh, and you must do it all over again each night.  Wow, I sound like such a city kid!  Given that Bella and I live in the country (i.e. rural suburbs) we’re looking to experience some authentic “city life”.

I eat my cakes from Yamazaki bakery (strawberry rolled cake, vanilla rolled cake and miniature strawberry cake).  The rolled cake is spongy in texture and has sweet cream between each layer.  It is similar in texture to a Hostess Suzy Q and similar visually to a Hostess Ho Ho.  They’re good even though they’re a day old.

DAY 7 – BUS – TAIPEI CITY — MORNING

Our destination is East District where there is a large department store with other specialty stores.  I comment about the diesel smell throughout Taipei City.  Bella jokes that it adds nice flavor to the foods of street vendors stationed on major streets.  Another example of “dirty food = strong stomach?”

DAY 7 – 15 E’ME PATISSERIE FRANCAISE – EAST DIST — MORNING

The exterior of 15 E’me (T: 02-2545-6760.  E: info@15eme.com.tw) is glass and tile with a wall to wall white modern interior.  A girl behind the counter takes our drink order (Café Americano for me and milk tea for Bella) as we look over the desserts under the glass case.

In typical fashion Bella pre-viewed her dessert (while in the United States), chocolate lava cake and I choose a very enticing café crème caramel pudding.  What a rich, aromatic coffee taste with a nice hit of caramel sauce.  This is a scrumptious dessert.  It is mid-morning on a weekday but I’m amazed that we’re all alone in this fine establishment.

DAY 7 – CHA FOR TEA – SONGSHAN DISTRICT — DAY

We enter Cha for Tea (T: 02-2719-9900.  W: chafortea.com.tw) and look at decorative tea pots shaped like animals.  We purchase some oolong high mountain tea and nougat candy.  They are owned by Ten Ren Tea.

DAY 7 – FRENCH WINE STORE – SONGSHAN DIST — MORN

A wine store has a Chateau Montelena winery poster in their display window.  We enter and Bella points out some pricey premier Bordeaux wines that she hasn’t seen in stores in the United States.  Bella is reading Japanese comics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Gouttes_de_Dieu) written to educate consumers about French wine.

DAY 7 – BREEZE CTR – SONGSHAN DIST — MORNING

Bella and I browse different floors at the Breeze Center(T: 0809-008888.  W: breezecenter.com).  At Muji (T: 886-2-8772-4817.  W: muji.com)we purchase a smoke blue-colored wooden mini penguin bowling pin set.  A few minutes later we buy an emperor penguin and chick Lego toy package.

We peruse Breeze Super, a gourmet grocery store with a variety of items you want and many you never thought of.  I don’t take a photo as it is prohibited in nearly every store in Taiwan.  Sometimes they are paranoid about you stealing their ideas.  Other times they are selling knock-off (i.e. imitation) merchandise.  This is especially true at night markets.

DAY 7 – MILKHOUSES – BREEZE CTR – SONGSHAN DIST — DAY

At the Milkhouses Bakery (T: 2881-2505.  W: milkhouses.com) I spot (and salivate) what appears to be my coconut custard cubes (white color) dessert from our 2008 trip.  I see other cubes in various colors with shredded coconut on top.  Bella orders a six-pack of the white cubes and one each of the coffee and orange flavors (made by Lamington of Australia).

DAY 7 – TAXI CAB – TAIPEI CITY – DAY

“Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” is officially on acid for this cab ride.  E-mail me a written request and I’ll send you the video clip.

DAY 7 – SHIN KONG MITSUROSHI COMPLEX – XINYI DIST — DAY

Shin Kong Mitsuroshi Complex (A: No.66, Sec. 1, Zhongxiao W. Road, Xinyi District, Taipei City. T: 886-2-2388-5552).  The basement has a food hall (i.e. food court) highlighting Asian foods as well as a few American alternatives.  Cindy locates us and we select a Taiwanese eatery.  I order a fried breaded pork chop and soup with seaweed.  It comes with pork rice (little pieces of pork sprinkled on top).  Our meals include a shared veggie variety plate.  Lunch boxes cost about $3.00-$4.00 per person.  The pork is moist and delicious.

Once finished I sample a white coconut cube which instead of custard has unsweetened cheese inside.  It isn’t my cup of tea so I move on.  The orange flavor tastes of bright citrus fruit and possesses a nice firm cake base, with slightly crunchy shredded coconut on the exterior.  The coffee flavor is even better with a full-bodied java taste.  I inhale the coffee aroma as I delicately chew away at this delightful dessert.

Outside in a courtyard a Taiwanese tribesman is dressed in full regalia with his buttocks exposed and no top is speaking “wisdom” to herds of people.  In another outdoor quad area there is a mime in a silver tin man costume entertaining shoppers.

DAY 7 – HSIN KONG DEPT STORE – XINYI DISTRICT – DAY

Inside a swanky department store the girls purchase Givenchy cosmetics.  We meet up with a classmate of Bella’s (where she earned her master’s degree) from New York.

DAY 7 – SHIN KONG MITSUROSHI COMPLEX – XINYI DIST — DAY

In another courtyard, a Taiwanese girl band is playing on an outdoor stage for a Samsung promotional event.  Outside of another store there is a couple of Asian Racing Team girls dressed in full racing gear.  The four of us end up at another food hall.  The girls eat some Asian desserts and chat while I take notes on the trip.

Shin Kong Mit.: Racing Team

“Morcan” is printed on a sign above a food hall vendor.  I safely assume they’re serving Moroccan cuisine.  Adjacent is JS Dover Kebab (Middle Eastern kebab plates).  Bella feeds me some jellied bean curd snack that “resembles” a dessert.  This reminds me of Asian packaging that refers to something as a cookie when it in fact is a “cracker”.  Blah!

DAY 7 – SHIN KONG MITSUROSHI COMPLEX – XINYI DIST – EVENING

If I hadn’t married a Taiwanese girl I’d be amazed by all the people bundled up in heavy coats, hats and scarves in 68 degree weather.  I am often the only one wearing shorts and a t-shirt on the streets of Taipei.  I do recall seeing a twenty-something whitey male wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

Let me assure you that nothing screams “Americano” more than wearing shorts and a t-shirt in Taiwan (especially during their winter months).  For whatever reason, Tokyo has more whiteys than Taiwan.  Races other than Asian and whitey (rare) are almost non-existent where I’ve traveled.

We’re meeting papa, mama, grandma and friends at a restaurant from last year.  As a result, I am anticipating an awful lot of food (and some strange ones).

DAY 7 – CHOW WIE RESTAURANT – DAAN DIST – EVENING

Chow Wie (T: 23-937705 or 23-910702) is located around the corner from the Tseng city apartment.  Papa is waiting for us outside.  We enter, approach the table, and do our introductions and greetings.  The dishes we consume include: sea cucumber; eel stir-fried noodle; scallops; clams in a broth; lobster; crab; whole fish head; hollow heart veggie.  There are 12-15 dishes in total.

Chow Wie: Crab

Mr. Lee brought a very enjoyable Michael Torino Estates, 2007 Reserve Malbec (“Don David”) wine, for the table.  Mrs. Lee is very attentive to when my glass is empty and prompts her husband to refill my glass immediately.  Given that the Taiwanese are a beer culture, Mr. Lee and I do a nice job of polishing off the bottle.  Mr. and Mrs. Lee are my new best friends in Taipei City.

DAY 8 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – TAIPEI CITY – MORN

Papa, Bella and I journey to the old town of Jioufen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jioufen).  Rain is coming down pretty good and gets worse as our car climbs the mountain.

DAY 8 – STREETS – JIOUFEN – DAY

We walk on narrow cobble-stone walkways stopping in many different vendor shops to buy souvenirs.  We sit down to have fish ball soup at a very crowded small vendor’s shop.  The soup is light on flavor (typical of soups in Taiwan) but suitable on this cold and rainy day.

We sample some high-grade Alishan oolong (high mountain tea) from a vendor.  This type of tea is grown in farms above 1000 meters elevation where it is cloudy and foggy.  It has a delicate yet elegant fragrance.  I whisper to Bella that this delicious tea has a profound aroma of “weed” (i.e. Mary Jane, ganja, gunny sack, lamb’s bread, black gold, blue sage, catnip and gauge butt).

Okay, you get the point.  Bella translates for her father and the vendor and of course they think I’m “nuttier than a squirrel turd”.  I’ll confess I’ve never partaken of the “skunky cold medina”, but many a friend has blown residual smoke in my face in jest over the years.

I happily recall that the Lee’s gave us this tea at last night’s dinner.  We buy some almond nougat candy before moving on.  Other vendors sell us peanut nougat candy, pineapple cakes, taro mochi cakes and meat jerky chips.  The peanut nougat candy is much firmer than Italian torrone but does break apart easily in your mouth as your saliva dissolves it.  Also, they contain milk whereas torrone uses egg whites.

DAY 8 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN — HIGHWAY – DAY

I eat green grass cake (sticky rice) with dried daikon (crunchy texture that reminds me of thinly shredded fried potatoes or onions) inside and a separate lump of taro.  We pass several cemeteries with hundreds of bold-colored ornate mausoleums covering the hillsides.  Last year I missed taking a photo of one that we passed in Hualien.  Bella advises me that it is bad luck and an insult to photograph gravesites.  Conversation over, there will no photo of mausoleums.

DAY 8 – SHENKENG TOWNSHIP – STREETS — AFTN

We park in a Japanese inspired parking garage.  The process involves pulling up to a very tall structure (constructed of metal siding) that has pull-up doors resembling an auto shop.  Once you pull your car inside it is lowered or raised on a hydraulic lift and stored on levels only visible in your imagination.

We cross a busy road, walk down a small hill and papa walks through what appears to be someone’s side yard.  Bella and I stop as a man is coming toward papa from the front of the house.  Papa keeps walking through the small walkway between the buildings.  We shrug at each other and follow suit.  It turns out this is a very skinny “alley” and this behavior is perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

This area is famous for stinky tofu so Bella orders a pot.  I order a braised tofu pot.  We share a side of some very flavorsome thin noodles (thinner than angel hair).  My tofu has a firm texture due to the braising and tastes good with the subtle flavor of the marinade partially absorbed.  We walk around and buy some dry snacks and souvenirs

DAY 8 — GONGGUAN NIGHT MKT – ZHONGZHENG DIST – NIGHT

Bella buys stinky tofu at a vendor and a side of noodles.  I buy a chrome watch with a surreal Salvador Dali-esque font from a street vendor in her late sixties.  Due to her eyesight she struggles with adjusting the band size.  Fortunately, a young female vendor next to her helps her out.  Bella gets a dark metallic gray-colored watch with a hard snap-on band.  A mere $16.00 (extra battery included) and we’re on our way.  These are much more impressive watches than you’ll find in the United States for the cost.

We stop for a papaya milk drink at “The Best ” (T: 2363-9225 or 2369-1598).  It is good, but surely not “the best of all”.  We buy some items at a Japanese $1.00 chain store called Daiso. Around the corner I purchase an iced green tea milk drink at Presotea (T: 0800-222-658.  W: presotea.com).

Afterwards, we take a seat at another vendor and I try Taiwanese meatballs.  There is a thin corn starch covering with chopped meatball inside and a sweet noodle sauce on top.  It is almost a touch too sweet for me but very tasty regardless.

I have always felt safe day or night in Taipei with some districts appearing cleaner and safer than others.  I’ve frequently wandered the streets aimlessly; taking in all the visual splendors of Taiwan.  Of course this makes you a prime target for pick pockets so I do try to remember it, sometimes successfully, other times, not so much.

DAY 8 – TSENG CITY APT – DAAN DIST – NIGHT

I open a discussion regarding what the Taiwanese won’t eat.  This spurs a conversation on what some people might believe are odd things that they have eaten.  Let this next tidbit serve as a clarification to my reference about dogs and cuisine in “Made in Taiwan”.  Dogs are not on menus but locals in the countryside will order dog when they have a relationship with a restaurant owner.  Bella and her dad tell me that “black dog” is the yummiest.  Next, are yellow dog.  Third are dogs with spots.  And lastly are white dog.

They enlighten me that black dog keeps your tummy warm and is good for your health.  However, if you are a person that suffers from physical illness you shouldn’t eat black dog.  The heat that emanates from it will be too powerful and will lead to your demise.  I ask them how they know this and they tell me it is “common knowledge”; even though they’ve never eaten dog.

I ask if they eat sting ray.  After some hand descriptions and a pencil sketch I receive an affirmative nod from papa.  He says it tastes like whale.  I say, whale?  Papa explains that in the 1950s’ it wasn’t an endangered species so you could eat it.

Bella divulges to papa that I’ve eaten rattlesnake and asks if he’s eaten any of Taiwan’s poisonous snakes.  Of course, he has sampled from the reptilian menu.  He ate the “100 pacer snake” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinagkistrodon) which per Wikipedia is sold as a meal alongside the venom served as a drink (anti-venom pills in both the drink and in the snake).  “Good reckless fun”.

Papa offers to take me to an area of town where I can see (I’m assuming in tanks) all of the poisonous snakes native to Taiwan.  Bella tells me we can dine on poisonous snake meat or snake soup.  Other things papa has eaten include large crickets and large female grasshoppers with eggs inside (of course he adds that the one’s with eggs inside taste better).  He also ate cicadae larvae (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicade) and bee larvae.

DAY 8 — TRAILS — HSIN DIEN CITY – NIGHT

Back at the mountain house Mom walks us up to a look-out at the top of the mountain so I can take some night photos of Taipei City.  It is cold enough where shorts and a t-shirt are inadequate protection from the elements.  Yes, “the penguin” is officially cold.  Regardless, I press on, on behalf of my readers.  Unfortunately, my point-and-shoot really isn’t cut out for low-light situations.  Bella and I experiment with various settings before calling it a night.

We walk back down the mountainside, taking a paved path (much smoother and unfortunately longer) back to the house.  I can’t believe it took me seven days to feel cold during a Taiwanese winter.  Finally, I am able to take a HOT shower in this country and it will feel agreeable.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – TAIPEI CITY — MORN

Mama, Bella and I drive to the city apartment.  As I admire the crazy scooter driving I ask Bella about the process for obtaining various licenses.  She says that automobile drivers must test on standard (manual) shift but exceptions are permitted.  She says that once they allowed “exceptions” there were a lot more cars on the road which resulted in more traffic and disastrous parking situations.

Scooter drivers must pass a written and driving exam — amazing.  I would’ve felt so much better if they told me that once you earn an automobile license a motorcycle license is mailed to you automatically.  On a side note, you must have a 550cc cycle or above to drive on Taiwan’s highways.  In the United States, we require 250cc to drive our freeways.  The majority of the scooter’s on Taiwan’s roads are 125cc.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – DAAN DIST – MORN

We pick up papa outside the city apartment and we’re off to the Guandu Nature Park.  The process of picking up papa involves a very “smooth transition”.  Mama slides over the bucket seat into the “shotgun” seat, I move directly behind the “shotgun” seat, papa takes over the driving duties and Bella stays pat.  Time is of the essence on this multi-process maneuver because at any moment a car or scooter may appear behind us.  And it proves helpful to avoid a free “door removal” service and/or “honk city.”

Papa hands us a bag of peeled persimmons (a standard on our road trips).  I use a plastic toothpick on a few pieces.  I tried one about nineteen years ago and didn’t care for it but obviously my tastes have changed as I now find these very yummy.  Another incident I forgot to mention is that it is common for a driver to park their car within a few inches from a wall and then have to climb out via the passenger side of the car.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – HIGHWAY – MORN

We pass a rubbish incinerator which looks like a very lofty lighthouse.  I mention it and papa tells me there is a revolving restaurant on the top floor which includes great views.  Excuse me?  Apparently the Taiwanese really do eat almost anywhere…and they are almost always eating.

He reports that the food is quite good.  I joke that being able to smell burning filth while dining is an offer I can definitely pass up.  They laugh before telling me that you can’t actually smell the trash being torched while dining.

I’m guessing the “trash torching” isn’t part of their green-team campaign but when you live on an island that is 245 miles long by 89 miles wide (13,892 square miles) you have issues with your landfills reaching full capacity.  In addition, you have approximately 23,063,027 people (figures as of June 2009) residing in this country.  Whereas, the population of the United States is approximately 308,146,993 (figures as of December 2009) and the geographical land mass is approximately 3,717,813 square miles.  As we get closer to the nature park there are many betel nut gum glass booths.

DAY 9 – GUANDU NATURE PARK – BEITOU DIST — MORN

Papa pays our admission and we enter the Guandu Nature Park (T: 02-28587417.  W: gd-park.org.tw).  The park includes marshlands, mudflats, ponds, rice paddies and woodlands.  There are plants that attract birds of many different types.  The sun is popping up here and there and the temperature is rising.  Ughhhh…grea-sy.

Guandu Nature Park

We watch a black-crowned night heron on an island as he stares intently into the waters below.  Early in our relationship Bella and I were at the LA Arboretum and watched a blue night heron hunt fish about 15 feet away from us.  With a better camera we’d have captured it dive bombing a five inch fish and flying 100 feet away to snack on his capture.  We’re a bit further away on this viewing but it yields a similar result.  We enjoy watching the final “chow down”.

Along the marshlands rests a cabin that features a 2^nd floor with pop-out, drop-down windows for viewing the wildlife.  So far we’ve seen some small backyard birds, egrets and herons.  Unfortunately, partially due to migration, this isn’t the prime season for bird viewing.  Also, the park only allows limited access of the grounds to the general public.  Those with special privileges (i.e. aviculturists, scientists etc.) can walk the wooden plank walkway out to the core reserve area (ponds, marshes and mudflats) where the majority of the birds are congregating.

We head to the nature center’s gift shop where I buy a miniature red marble penguin figurine and a mandarin duck magnet.  Papa buys me a book titled “100 Common Birds of Taiwan” (W: wbst.org.tw).  Then, we go upstairs to the observatory and bird watching area to utilize the telescopes where we see many ducks (including mandarin ducks), a black-crowned night-heron, great egrets and other birds.  There are about 75 loud elementary school students nudging in on our scope even though there are four other telescopes.  We ignore the youngsters as this is the best shot we’ll have at getting a view of “chickens”.

Afterwards, we go to the auditorium where we watch a documentary movie on the ecosystem of the marshlands emphasizing the importance of the plant life.  As anticipated, the elementary school kids volunteer about fifteen minutes of quiet time before growing fidgety.  Yes, our decision not to breed was the correct one.  We exit the park and make our way for our next destination, Bella’s university.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – BEITOU DIST — DAY

We arrive in the suburbs where Bella completed her undergraduate work.  As we drive up the hill, Bella points out the dorms where she lived while a student there.  She mentions how “carpy” her dorms look compared with the new ones adjacent to hers.  She is amazed at how many new buildings there are.  Even the aquatic center at the top of the hill is new to her.

DAY 9 – CAMPUS – TAIPEI NATL UNIV OF THE ARTS – DAY

We get a nice view from the top of the hill.  I ask Bella how she chose her school and she says that it was based on what school officials told her.  This school was brand new and wasn’t even fully constructed when she elected to attend here.  This was pre-Internet so she didn’t have the luxury of viewing or reviewing anything online…not that there would’ve been anything.

DAY 9 – STREETS – DANSHUI – DAY

A vendor serves us fish ball soup and a bun which contains pork.  We browse stores and check out food vendors along the Danshui River.  Papa buys me a grilled squid on a stick with the sweet Taiwanese barbecue sauce.  The squid is a tad chewy, barely warm and therefore not as appetizing as the one from Shilin Night Market.  Bella buys fried shrimp from a vendor.  It has a nice green onion/green chili pepper/herb seasoning that reminds me of my salt and pepper pork from Cantonese restaurants in the United States.

Stray dogs on a mini-island are having a barking contest to determine who earns the title, “King of the Island”.  A vendor’s dog begins barking and she quickly yells something in Mandarin.  People begin laughing.  The translation equates to “keep it up and you’ll end up on that island too.”  We pile back in the car and are off to the Pacific Ocean.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – SHIDING TOWNSHIP – AFTN

I spot a single surfer riding the waves.  Papa stops at a roadside vendor along the highway to pick up rice tamales.  I must acknowledge that my belly is ill-equipped to keep up with the “carb-loading” that has taken place over the past few days.

Fortunately, I’ve chalked up much more exercise while in Taiwan since Asians and Europeans typically walk much more than Americans.  Seriously speaking, I feel like I just departed the Bellagio Buffet after a two hour “smor-gas-pig” session.

Regardless, I eat my tempting tamale while looking at a rock archway to the sea.  There is a natural rock bridge across a portion of the sea.  I pick some attractive shells and rocks as a small memento to remind me of Taiwan’s natural beauty.

I pick up a white-colored sea creature that looks like a morph between a sand dollar (visually) and a starfish (texture).  Papa is a semi-retired science teacher and even he isn’t sure what this is.  I find another one and it is clear I have a living creature in my paw.  A mist comes down with strong gusts of wind and I feel cold for the second time in Taiwan.  We return to the car and make our way to a small, old sea town named Golden Mountain.

DAY 9 – GOLDEN MTN OLD MKT – JINSHAN TOWNSHIP – AFTN

I ask Bella if the Taiwanese refer to people that live at the ocean as “beach people”.  She tells me that in Taiwan you’re either “city people” or “country people” with no in between.  She says that people living outside of the city often have a very “small town” (rural perspective) that they are deemed “country people”.  I tell her there is “no way, no how” I’ll ever consider a Newport Beach resident “country folk”.

We stop at an ice cream vendor and purchase various flavors.  Some of the flavors we consume are: sesame, maple, taro, passion fruit, matcha green tea and mango.  Bella isn’t really interested since it doesn’t taste “fat enough” and therefore isn’t “yummy”.  I hate to admit it, but I tend to agree with her in regards to most flavors.  The tasty flavors are matcha green tea and passion fruit with passion fruit tasting like a sorbet which still tastes good even though it is low in fat.

Papa steps away to buy pumpkin seed cluster snacks for my parents.  As we make our way to the car Papa stops to buy squid jerky.  Bella says this Taiwanese snack is a rarity.  She has fond memories of it dating back to her childhood.  It doesn’t look appetizing, has a tough texture and a fishy smell and taste.  I did enjoy salmon jerky that a Japanese co-worker gave me in the United States but the “fishiness” kills this one for me.

DAY 9 – TOYOTA VIOS SEDAN – HIGHWAY – EVENING

A van’s intercom speakers blares political propaganda.  We’ve seen many of these throughout the countryside since we arrived.  They’re predominantly in the countryside because Taipei City isn’t involved in the upcoming election.  Posters of the politicians typically featuring nerdy looking gentlemen with goofy overly excited facial expressions and hand gestures are plastered all about town.

DAY 9 — SHIDA NIGHT MKT – DAAN DIST – NIGHT

I purchase an impressive “Wilon” (not to be confused with Wilson Sporting Goods) stainless steel, square faced watch for a mere $10.00.  I decide to finish the day with a light nutrition plan.  I slurp down a papaya milk and then an almond milk tea (no tea included for complex reasons) which is entirely too sweet but still pretty good.

DAY 10 – TSENG MTN HOUSE — HSIN DIEN CITY – NIGHT

Bella packs our souvenirs and clothing that we don’t need.  I often tell her she is AEE certified (Asian Efficiency Expert) due to how skilled she is at organizing and spatial tasks like packing.  I play the “good husband” role and assist as needed, doing my best to stay out of the way.

DAY 10 – TSENG MTN HOUSE – HSIN DIEN CITY – MORN

Holy carp!  Amazingly the sun is out and the rain is absent this morning.  Every morning at the mountain house has begun with rain, wind or heavy fog or a combination of the three.  This weather was near perfection for someone “penguin-blooded” like I am.  Regrettably, I am fearful of the “grease factor” I may experience today for our final day in Taipei City.

DAY 10 – BUS – TAIPEI CITY – MORNING

Our destination is a Chinese handicraft mart where we will buy souvenirs for friends and family.

DAY 10 – THP CENTER – ZHONGZHENG DIST — MORN

The Taiwan Handicraft Promotion Center (T: 886-2-23933655.  W: handicraft.org.tw)is a three-level building with various Taiwanese/Chinese items including: rainbow stone; rose stone; jade; porcelain vases; Cloisonné enamelwork; Alishan high mountain tea.  I purchase many items on each floor.

DAY 10 – TAXI – TAIPEI CITY – DAY

We’re meeting Bella’s friend Kelly for lunch.  Kelly earned her doctorate in music from Claremont University in Pomona and returned to Taiwan last spring.  Additionally, Kelly was a fellow faculty member with Bella at Opus 119: School of Music in Irvine.

DAY 10 – MODERN TOILET REST – XIMENDING — DAY

Bella and I wait outside of the Modern Toilet (T: 02-23118822.  W: moderntoilet.com.tw).  We discuss the likelihood that Kelly gets lost again (she is notorious for it).  Amazingly, she is only fifteen minutes late.  We wonder if our little girl is perhaps “all grownsed up”.

Inside, we dine out of mini urinals and toilet bowls.  The food is pretty decent but not spectacular.  My brown sugar cold milk tea served in a black urinal with a straw simulating the chrome pipe and ice cubes (sometimes found in urinals) is delicious.  Theme restaurants (i.e. Hard Rock Café, Planet Hollywood) in the United States often serve mediocre to poor quality food.  I finish my meal with a green tea matcha sundae.

Modern Toilet: Bowl

DAY 10 — TAIPEI MILK KING – XIMENDING – AFTN

Around the corner we re-visit my favorite shop serving papaya milk drinks.

DAY 10 – STREETS – XIMENDING – AFTERNOON

Kelly spots her first Starbuck’s in Taiwan.  There isn’t a store on every other corner like the United States but I’m guessing I’ll see a minimum of six by day’s end.  Regardless, we love our Kelly all the same.

DAY 10 – TIEN CHIAO SHIH BOOKS – ZHONGZHENG DIST — AFTN

We re-visit this stationery store so the girls can buy teaching supplies.  We catch a taxi to visit the Taipei 101 area.

DAY 10 – HSIN KONG DEPT STORE – XINYI DIST – AFTN

Kelly gets her Starbuck’s coffee — six months later.

Near the food hall, we sample various mochi cakes and place an order for pick-up.

I eat my final pork chop while the girls chat.  It has a thin layer of breading and is a tad drier than the one I ate from another vendor here, but it is still moist.

We pick up our taro and matcha green tea mochi cakes.  We say our goodbyes to Kelly and grab a taxi.

DAY 10 — SHIDA NIGHT MKT – DAAN DIST – NIGHT

I buy an iced jasmine green tea drink at Will be Addicted (T: 2363-3602).

DAY 10 – TSENG CITY APT – DAAN DIST – NIGHT

Papa offers me a “slightly” unfamiliar looking fruit.  Bella says the fruit is a “p-r-u-m” (of course I hear plum) which brings many humorous jokes (albeit far from politically correct) to mind in regards to 50s’-80s’ American movies where Asians are represented having very harsh accents when speaking the English language.  Apparently, Bella was attempting to say “prune” so I conclude that it is in the prune family.  In the end it appears that it is a “jujube” (a.k.a. Chinese date).

The fruit is the color of a granny smith apple and a tad smaller than a tennis ball but bigger than a plum.  The exterior has the textural appearance of an apple and tastes slightly drier than an Asian pear.  I’d say it is a hybrid of a granny smith apple and an Asian pear.  They taste good and I am disappointed to learn they aren’t available in Asian supermarkets in the United States.  We say goodbye to papa and I thank him for chauffeuring us and the delectable foods he introduced me to.

Chinese Date

DAY 10 – NISSAN LIVINA CUV – TAIPEI CITY – NIGHT

Cindy drives us to the mountain house.

DAY 10 – TSENG MTN HOUSE – HSIN DIEN CITY – NIGHT

We insure we are fully packed.  As I’m showering I dream about my 65 inch tall shower head from home.  In Taiwan I have to use the removable wand due to many showerheads being 48 inches or less.  The second thing I miss is an American toilet with the suction power of a Dyson vacuum.  Yes, it truly is the little things you miss when away from home.

DAY 11 – NISSAN LIVINA CUV — HIGHWAY – MORNING

We’re off for the airport.

DAY 11 – TAOYUAN INT’L AIRPORT – TAOYUAN – MORN

Inside we are greeted with a bright red digital read-out at the United Airlines counter that reads — “flight cancelled”.  “Good times”.  The line is thin initially but due to snail’s pace processing it is backed out of the rope dividers.  Finally a ticket agent calls us up and we are informed that passengers are being sent to an earlier flight on Japanese Airlines (JAL).

Unfortunately, the system is having issues and our ticket agent doesn’t know how to process what has become a complex transaction.  Finally, a senior ticket agent takes over, utilizes a different printer and we’re on our way.  We say our goodbyes to Cindy.  Bella shops for cosmetics in a duty free store.

DAY 11 – JAPANESE AIRLINES FLIGHT – AIRBORNE – MORN

We’re on our way to Narita, Japan.  I thought United Airlines had nice food for an airline…until I dined on JAL.  Or, my stomach has turned half-Asian after marrying a Taiwanese girl.  I think it is a combination of the two.

DAY 11 – CUSTOMS – NARITA AIRPORT — NARITA — DAY

Bella gets shafted when a female customs agent takes her cosmetics due to the bottles containing liquids above the acceptable size.  There goes $120 into the trash – or an airport employee’s medicine cabinet.

DAY 11 – UNITED AIRLINES – THE FRIENDLY SKIES — NIGHT

I consume my meal plate and take a prescription sleeping pill.  Five hours later I am well rested — a first on an airplane.  The “economy plus” seating with extended leg room definitely makes a difference.  Ten hours later we’re at LAX.

DAY 11 – LAX AIRPORT – LOS ANGELES – MORNING

It is 8:30am and we catch our shuttle to our parking garage.

DAY 11 – QUIKPARK LAX – LOS ANGELES — MORN

The car is loaded and we’re off to Oxnard for Thanksgiving Day dinner with the family.  I’m sure glad I don’t have to work tomorrow — nice try!  It is one of few negatives at my company.

After another great trip to Taiwan I’d like to wrap up my food related commentary.  If the United States had a similar perspective in regards to the cleanliness of food as most other countries I believe we’d have better tasting food at our casual restaurants.  Of course you can find some pretty amazing food in the U.S. at high-end restaurants but it can be more of a “needle in a haystack” challenge to find those hole-in-the-wall joints in mini-malls that serve the “golden grub”.

Think of it like a bottle of wine, anyone can pick a random $100 bottle and the odds will be in your favor of having a nice drinking experience.  Now pick a random $15 bottle and see how your odds diminish.  My point is that in the U.S. our cleanliness standards, limits the number of “$15 bottle gem” eating establishments Americans have access to whereas in cities like Taipei there are handfuls of these options within most blocks.

In Taipei street vendors are almost limitless (albeit licenses are required) and have the ability to serve food nearly anywhere allowing people easy access to whatever food their heart may desire.  One argument in defense of street vendor food raises the point that at least on the street you have full access to the “kitchen” whereas in restaurants you rarely are granted this bird’s eye view.

Most large cities in the U.S. have so many restrictions that a kitchen must spend more time focusing on health inspections and maintaining pristine cleanliness standards versus concentrating on improving recipes, creating new recipes and having the additional monies to hire quality talent in the kitchen.  Also, the average American seems to be an “eat to live” versus a “live to eat” person which further perpetuates the issue (i.e. low expectations).  Thus, our country is littered with many mediocre (or worse) chain restaurants (i.e. Applebee’s, Olive Garden, Little Caesar’s and TGIF).

Each day we eat hundreds of germs, and most of these die in the saliva or the acid of the stomach. Occasionally, however, one gets through and causes food poisoning.  And of course most Americans concern themselves with the one out of hundreds.  Granted, I am by no means a scientist or nutritionist so for more information on our typically efficient and complex immune systems, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immune_system.

Bear in mind, I am not asking you to seek out the dirtiest restaurants you can find and then order egg or chicken dishes.  What I am saying is that if the United States adopted the occasionally spoken Taiwanese mantra “dirty food = strong stomach” we would surely be exposed to tastier food and would build up our immune systems in the process.  After all, these countries have employed this mentality for centuries and their health doesn’t seem to be comprised by doing so.

As it is, most Americans are the equivalent of pure bred Doberman pinchers (Dalmatian, German shepherd etc.) whereas our Taiwanese counterparts are the mutts (no offense intended) running wild and free in the streets (i.e. “Lady and the Tramp”) with less health issues to speak of.  Of course part of this can be attributed to the fact that the average American eats a less healthy diet (i.e. less fruits and vegetables) than their Taiwanese counterparts.  Hopefully I’ve at least given you something to think about as that is all I really wanted to accomplish with this topic.

“Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.”
— John Cage